Tuesday, November 17

gratitude



i realize that you would prefer a picture of a baby to that of a persimmon (kaki) tree but i did want to offer something today.

i am feeling very grateful this morning. it is a feeling that comes and goes but today it is very strong. yesterday, maybe not so much. or last week, when i wrote that post. but today, yes, i am grateful.

i am grateful that i can experience this period of the birth of my daughter in mindfulness and that it is teaching me how to cultivate patience.

i am grateful that i live in a situation where the practical circumstances of birth are safe and certain. my doctor speaks english, very well. my insurance will cover the cost. the hospital is a five minute walk from my house. my husband and elder son are at a school that is also only five minutes away from the hospital. we have an accumulation of paid holidays that my husband can use to cover the days i will be in the hospital.

i am grateful that next week is thanksgiving holiday for my grad school and thus i won't have to worry about missing homework for an entire week.

i am grateful that my son can go to school and that i am healthy enough to walk there when the day is finished to collect him. i am grateful that he is such a good big brother and truly wants to help and asks me for ways that he can be of use.

i am grateful for all the support i have received from you, my friends and family. it always does wonders for me when i hear from you. the distance is much shorter with you in my thoughts.

i am grateful for this opportunity to be a mother to three children. i would have never believed it if you had told me pre-motherhood that i would have three kids by the time i was thirty. it may not be the conventional way these days for a well-educated woman but i definitely feel that it is an honor.

i am grateful for the chance to mother a daughter. it is going to be a change but a welcome one.

i am grateful for my contract and for a caring soon-to-be supervisor who is going out of her way to help my family make the transition from gotou to nagoya as easy as possible.

most of all, i am simply grateful. to be alive, to be here, to be aware of both of those facts.

thank you for giving me the space to reflect on these thoughts, in the final hours before colette arrives. she'll be here soon, my friends, so i am going to use this time to practice mindfulness and patience in anticipation of the big event.

i hope you are all doing wonderfully. take care.
xoxo

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