Monday, April 18
Here or there, day by day
We have been swept up in the vicious winds of April. 4/5ths of us are in our respective schools and things are going well on that front. We have had no word if 1/5th of us will indeed be deported. Like the nuclear crisis, like the encroaching earthquakes, this is something that we will just have to wait and see about.
It seems much more dramatic in print than it actually is. Daily life chugs on as usual, with 2/5ths of us being more acutely aware of how precious our time is here. We are letting the other 3/5ths remain in blissful ignorance.
Honestly, I don't think that we will get the boot simply because it would cost the government a lot to get rid of us. If I had chosen voluntary deportation, it would have come out of my pocket. Now they are in the process of examining those pockets to see if I have enough to stay or not. Practically, it seems like a bad idea to kick a tax paying family with two kids in Japanese schools out because of a tiny mistake. Especially as they scramble to figure out how to pay for the disasters in Tohoku.
So, in the meantime instead of being anxious, we prefer to Stay Calm and Carry On. I am still going forward with my shop and my writing, though I am pushing back the grand opening a few weeks. Today I am completing eight baby slippers and five summer outfits with the boys all at school and work. It is really quiet with just Colette. I can already anticipate how much I will accomplish when all of them are in school in a few years.
We are working on things that we can continue to do regardless of location. Though my proximity to a giant Japanese fabric store makes it more ideal for my shop if we stay in this land. Regardless, we have backup plans now that we didn't have prior to March 11th. Plans to do more meaningful work than we had been doing, to work towards true dreams while enjoying the journey along the way. If we get the boot, if the walls crumble down around us, then other opportunities will abound.
All the disasters and potential disasters that lie at our feet have made certain dharmic lessons absolutely radiate in my mind, such as impermanence and the utter suffering of this samsaric realm. I get how we must tackle even the most petty concerns with as much kindness and mindfulness as possible. For a while, the stress was making 2/5ths of us short-tempered with the other 3/5ths. Now that a few weeks have worn on, we have calmed down and gained a better perspective. It is easier to remain patient, more loving with each other now. We know what really matters is not where we are, but that we are together wherever. I tacked this article to my kitchen wall, to remind me when I feel hassled in that cramped space by the gaping mouths of my little chicks, that my littles are safe in our nest still, even if the nest is temporary. And the good thing about nests is that that they can be made again if the winds and rains destroy them.