Home

Home is such a strange term for expats and travelers. Is it where you are from or where you are going? In this house we have multiple definitions for the term, multiple places that qualify. For the kids, Japan is home. Where they were born, learned to walk and talk, learned how to handle chopsticks. Even the oldest two with Florida printed on their birth certificates only really know Japan.

Japan is my adulthood, where I have given birth to two kids and raised the whole lot of them in a tiny apartment. Where I have overcome personal reservations for the good of the whole. Where I came to value precision as much as innovation. Japan suits me in many ways, the wabi sabi aesthetics, the quiet, the appreciation for nature.

Our time in Japan, five years this time, has come to a close. After losing one lackluster job and refusing a few others, I came to the realization that we have outgrown Japan. For now at least. For the way we have been here. Jason and I have figured out the work we need to do in this life and are no longer to delay or sacrifice for a petty security. I cannot justify it any longer. The distractions of being an immigrant are too severe. We need a true stability, a place where we can work on our projects and provide a healthy, loving environment for our kids.

Next month, a few days before Sebastian turns ten, we will fly home. It is to a home that I associate with childhood, a home my children will now include in their memories. We go home to family and friends, to a space large enough to contain us. We go back knowing there is a recession and determined to work and support ourselves by our own wits and hands. Frankly, as much as we love Japan, it is a relief. Jason and I are creatives with four children. Having to worry about visas and language barriers when we just want to get our work done has become frustrating. And the kids are a bit relieved too. They are relieved because we will be homeschooling them so their time will be less regimented. They are sad to lose their friends, sad to leave what they know. They are also excited about the adventure that they consider America to be. They look forward to the strange wilds of Florida, the diversity of people, the chance to play soccer and learn how to surf.

It is a huge change but it feels really right. We are ready to get on with our next chapter. Home is, after all, where the heart is. Home is my family, my work, my friends. These things are not anchored to place. Japan is home, Florida is home, this whole beautiful messed up planet is home. As we progress, humanity will eventually cease to insist on so many boundaries of perceived space. Already many of us consider ourselves to be global citizens, sharing an internationality. For our kids, I have no doubt that they will benefit from a freer world but in the end, I bet they will realize that it is not where you are but what you do while you are there that matters.

Gasp...is it almost that time already?

Incredibly I have only 4 more days of work ahead of me. I can hardly believe it. Most of this winter has passed in a blur of teaching, sleeping, being ill, and taking care of various kid-related needs. I am almost 34 weeks pregnant and have been down for the count AGAIN this past week due to whatever was going around. My lowered immunity means that I am like black corduroy for lint. I look forward to being cloistered in my snug apartment with only the germs of my beloved filtering in. This is my first time in four pregnancies that I have worked this far into my pregnancy so come March 3rd, I am going to be a happy woman.

Part of slowing down means focusing on the fact that we will have a new baby here in a few short weeks. Luckily, having had a baby not so long ago, we do still have the basics such as baby carriers and a floor rocker. Unfortunately for Luca, most of the clothes for the previous baby are pink so that is something we must work on stockpiling in these next few weeks. He'll be a spring baby but spring in Nagoya is rather cool until the end of May usually so his earliest clothes will need to be long and warm. I do have plans to make some of his clothes but my plans and my reality rarely meet as I expect them to. So for those aunties and grannies out there looking for something to send, I would suggest looking in the used clothing shops or discount bins for footed rompers or coveralls. And socks are always a great thing too.

Another thing I would like to do is to use cloth instead of paper diapers. Besides for the ecological benefits, we are also going to be on a tight budget this next year so I believe it would be economically advantageous for us to give it a go. It is something I have always wanted to try but since I have never been home full-time with any of my infants, it was always off the table. I am thinking of ordering something like this starter set, something good for cloth diapering novices.

I am also searching the auction boards for my own mama chari, a bicycle that can carry Luca in the front and Colette in the back. The boys both have their own bikes and I think that this would be a good option even for neighborhood errands. Nico's only in school from 8:45-2:45 which really doesn't leave a lot of time for doing errands on foot. And in the summer time I think it would be nice to be able to bike around as a family instead of hoofing it on the melting pavement.

Another thing that I plan to implement since I will be queen of apartment #202 is to switch to a whole foods, macrobiotic based diet for the whole family. Again ecological and economical at the same time. We'll be planting some of our first plants in the balcony garden this next week or two now that the weather is leaning towards spring (though still dipping past freezing some nights).
It is shaping up to be a very domestically-minded year, something I am truly excited about.

Of course, I do have other plans as well but being sick recently has taught me that I need to focus on the core before working on the periphery. Like school supplies over art supplies. Reading skills for the boys over writing books. That sort of thing. But I am sure with a whole year ahead of me, I can manage to fit in everything. Just a matter of patience and diligence, which are part of that core as well.

Now, time to make some soup and rice and get everything ready for the start of another school week. Hope you are all well. Take care.

Creating a Life

The last posts of 2011 will be mostly reflective, which maybe is okay since due to laziness I omitted writing about a lot of our happenings this year. Gomen.

(picture of Buddha drawn by a creative student at Nico's school for the annual school festival)

This year I was determined to be actively creative. I was successful in creating more crafts, drawings, and stories than I was in 2010 but I still didn't meet my own targets most of the time.

There was the Etsy shop that morphed into a fabric shop (we're on vacation from supplying the world with lovely fabrics for the time being).

There was the postcard exchange that started with a huge number of participants, dwindled to half and now I, the organizer, am busy trying to catch up for months of missed postcards.

There was a novel that turned into, well, a novel. I wrote it in one month, including edits and a nasty bout of the flu. I'm not saying it is great (really, it is not) but it is complete. My first book, well ebook. It was more about getting it finished than making a masterpiece. I think that it has cleared the way for better writing. Given me hands-on experience of the practice of writing and overcoming my tendencies towards being overcritical and subsequently giving up on my work. I know I should be embarrassed about it but I have made a mission of reading all of my favorite authors' first works this year and I can tell you with certainty that the first work usually is, in a word, crap. The most meaningful lesson I gleaned from writing the book and working on the other projects has been that diligence and determination are really huge factors in generating success. Being talented is nothing compared to steady, unflinching hard work.

And lucky for me, I have a whole year ahead of me to hone my work habits. I am really excited about the days that are before me, just waiting to be created.