At the seashore

I need the sea because it teaches me.
I don’t know if I learn music or awareness,
if it’s a single wave or its vast existence,
or only its harsh voice or its shining one,
a suggestion of fishes and ships
The fact is that until I fall asleep,
in some magnetic way I move in
the university of the waves.

-Pablo Neruda-

This I can say, we do need the sea.




As our fate unravels only to get tangled into tiresome knots, as all the petty facts of life clamber and claw over us, we need the sea to remind us of the truth. The waves do not knock down our fears or draw away our problems with the tide. We gain something greater, the reminder that we are but tiny phytoplankton with the life expectancy of just a few days.
That truth is incredibly liberating. With our perspective straightened, we are free to work on those knots and stand up under the weight of our nagging concerns.

Sun Day 日曜日

Sundays are the one day of the week when nobody has to go to school or work. I realize that we just had two weeks of straight Sundays during the Spring vacation yet you can't fully value the day until it is sandwiched between six non-Sundays.

The sun rises here just after 4:45 now (Japan does not have daylight savings time) and as I have mentioned before, there is nothing to keep Nico from rising with it. He is a patient fellow and usually takes care of himself quietly until around 5:15 when he makes his older brother join him. With their powers combined, they then decide on which request they can make that will squeeze past our usually strict regulations, made slack by the desire to sleep until a more decent hour. On Sundays though for some reason, they seem to accept the relaxed nature of the day and will instead join me on my futon until that decent hour arrives. It makes the day much better when there isn't a power struggle to be fought at first light.

Today was a typical Sunday of banana pancakes, housekeeping, park visiting, and grocery shopping. Right now the boys are with the neighborhood kids at the nearby park and Colette's eyelids have succumbed to their growing heaviness and she is peacefully napping in the other room. The open windows bring in a warm breeze and the songs of all the flitting little birds, dancing on power lines. The quiet embraces me, enchants me until I too must succumb to an afternoon nap.  Oh, the joy of a good Sunday.

The Swing of Things

It is March 21st.
Spring has sprung and it is only three weeks until this little one is set to hatch (though with my late children, I am not expecting anything until the end of April). Last week I was hit with a cold that made me inclined for the horizontal rather than vertical activities. Being sick also makes me feel lazy, especially with all the t's I need to cross before next month.

This week I am better and have managed to complete my taxes and other misc. paperwork that had a timestamp blazing. Not fun stuff but necessary stuff.
I have reclaimed my sewing table and have managed a few steps towards completing that massive list I posted before. A reversible jersey knit cap has been made, along with a quilt and a couple of blankets. Today I will finish the little kimono tops and baby towels (they wrap babies up in towels instead of blankets here). I will try to take some pictures later today to share with you.

The closer I get to the due date the closer I find the unnecessary aspects of life falling away. There are a lot of things that will not get made or written and instead of it bothering me, I find relief in that realization. There are a lot of pressing concerns around here, specifically financial worries, but at this particular moment, I am just grateful to be home and have what I do have. When the belts are tightened, it becomes necessary to use what is on hand more than we do if we have a broader income. Lots of bean dishes are being served more often now. Luca's things are being made primarily from samples I had for the shop. And a lot of the things I am making for the shop will also come from what I have in my scrap pile (it's a nice pile).

I am from a generation that started out despising the term "frugal" and has now embraced it as a lifestyle choice. I would rather have less money and more time and now I get to discover the cost of that wish. It takes a lot of grey matter to manage it but the benefits are definitely worth it. I am sincerely grateful for what I have before me right now. Which happens to be a very kissy two year-old who wants my hands to "hurry up" and play with her instead of the keyboard.

Hope you are all doing well. Take care.

And the winner is....

We've been a rather fortunate family. No major calamities, no broken bones, no long hospital stays, no stitches. Lucky, right? I would say so. Eventually the odds are that there will be an incident that breaks that winning streak. Nico is a competitive kid, despite what his sports day photos might suggest. Since suffered the bad luck of being born second, he has done all he can do to catch up and surpass his older brother.



Today he managed what none of the rest of us have managed to do. He fell off a bicycle at school and wound up with five stitches under his chin. I know, gasp, right? I'll give you a moment to recover.

Well, five stitches may seem puny to you but for this mama, it was a rough day. Yet not so rough, in some ways. Like when Nico, the massive 5 year-old that he is, had to be held down by four nurses and one of his teachers. He was screaming his head off (and if you had seen the needle, you would have done the same) and thrashing with all his might. But those ladies did not break into a sweat or a temper. They just gently encouraged him to keep trying, that it was almost over. I remember the doctor visits in the States and the nurses there would have not been so kind. I probably would have been reprimanded for having such a violent child. So that was a blessing.

And while I didn't relish having to witness this (needles and stitches make me queasy and they were very matter of a fact about the procedure) I did feel a surge of pride as Nico battled those sweet caregivers in complete Japanese. Nauseous but proud. Blessing.

Or like how I didn't have his insurance card on me (since it happened right before preschool pick-up time and I didn't know until I arrived and the principal and teacher were waiting with bloody Nico in the car for me and Colette so we could go together...) and the doctor's office said, no problem, just bring it next time. Is that even possible in the States? Could my son receive care immediately upon entering the building and be set to go home within ten minutes, without showing proof of insurance? So, another blessing.

Looking at it from this perspective, I see that Nico didn't break our lucky streak. His minor injury just helped me to understand how strong it really is. And for that, I am truly grateful. Now, if I could just rid myself of the images of that needle, I would be near bliss.