At the seashore

I need the sea because it teaches me.
I don’t know if I learn music or awareness,
if it’s a single wave or its vast existence,
or only its harsh voice or its shining one,
a suggestion of fishes and ships
The fact is that until I fall asleep,
in some magnetic way I move in
the university of the waves.

-Pablo Neruda-

This I can say, we do need the sea.




As our fate unravels only to get tangled into tiresome knots, as all the petty facts of life clamber and claw over us, we need the sea to remind us of the truth. The waves do not knock down our fears or draw away our problems with the tide. We gain something greater, the reminder that we are but tiny phytoplankton with the life expectancy of just a few days.
That truth is incredibly liberating. With our perspective straightened, we are free to work on those knots and stand up under the weight of our nagging concerns.

How does your garden grow

It has only been a couple of weeks since we started our gardening venture. I am so glad to have brought this into our lives. We all get so much pleasure in watering the plants and watching them thrive. Colette is the Queen of the Watering Can so I have to get out there before she does in the morning to make sure all the plants get watered. And she has learned the valuable lesson of not crushing the plants, or plucking them out of the ground. Now she is very careful and hardly ever plays with their dirt. Sebastian is pleased because the sunflower seeds that he planted, most of the twenty(!) seeds, sprouted and are zooming up in all directions right now. Jason even contributed to the mix by adding that lovely little hydrangea with the perfect antique blue tiny blossoms.

It is an addictive habit, this gardening stuff. This weekend we plan to add eggplant, shiso, rosemary, and salad greens. And we will be starting a little compost container to use all of our kitchen scraps, perhaps using the bokashi method. It is part of my goal of cutting our garbage production in half.

The best thing about this experience has been involving the kids in every step. They already have a natural interest in all things growing (and all things in general, of course) and the boys get to do a little gardening at both of their schools. Colette is happiest when she is digging and using her hands so this new routine of ours is perfect for her. I do worry about their attitude towards the natural world living in a human curated city that is heavy on the concrete and light on the green. This balcony garden of ours has given us a tiny corner of botany and ecology, of responsibility and togetherness. I just wish we had started it sooner.

Due Date

Well, here we are on my estimated due date, and a Friday the 13th no less. This is the day when the patience from most of those around me dwindles.  They (and by they, it is possible that I am including you in the equation) suddenly realize how long a full-term pregnancy actually is (basically 10 months) and the fact that I stubbornly continue to remain in this encumbered state is simply unacceptable.
Luckily for them (and perhaps you as well) I am patient enough for everyone. In two weeks, if Luca hasn't made his entrance into this world, then perhaps my tune will change.
For now though, I am okay. Luca is okay. Between now and two weeks, he will decide on a birthday and manage to escape his warm womb to be embraced by a family that is somewhat ready to meet him. Since this is my fourth child (for those of you who lost count) I know that a due date is not an expiration date. I also know that when he does decide to come, he will come. I even look forward to the occasion (as nuts as that might sound).

Until Luca's birthday, I will waddle through my days, filling out school forms in crummy Japanese, blowing bubbles at the park, and eating way too much ice. My hospital bags are packed, the pantry is stocked with cornflakes, ramen noodles, and rice and there is nothing left to do but enjoy these last moments before the Luca revolution begins. Based on my previous experience, I know that the change will be so radical it will soon be hard to remember a time when he wasn't in our lives. Until that occurs, I plan to savor all the moments I can with his fellow revolutionaries, those loving siblings who have so successfully scrambled my memory that I am rather sure they were with me during my youth, blowing out the candles on my own birthday cakes.





Also, a big shout-out to my mother-in-law who celebrates another year survived on this blue and green ball today. I know she is hopeful that Luca will be the most considerate of her grandkids and decide he wants to share her birthday. All I can say is that the day is young and though there is no indication he might want to be one of the rare ones who are born on their due dates, there are plenty of hours left for him to change his mind.
(And, just so grandma knows, we signed her birthday cards last week but made the mistake of trusting them in the care of her eldest son. So please look for your birthday cards a few days late but know that we  didn't forget your birthday...)
Omedetou gozaimasu! Happy Birthday!

(19)

Thinking, thinking, and thinking some more.
Trying to stay on top of everything.
Trying to learn how to cut myself some slack.

Working on some new projects...
Learning from mistakes, and learning to value those lessons instead of discarding them in frustration...

(2)

Today was rather mellow compared with yesterday. Now that it is bedtime and we have finished another day, I do mourn its passage and make my daily vow to be more productive tomorrow. We did manage to fit in a donut run and the boys smashed many turtles into oblivion. I designed a new doll pattern and cut out the material so I have that to look forward to putting together after the boys are snug in their slumber.



As Jason and I were refereeing the troops while they ate their sugary treats, we were reflecting on our short trip to the southern Alps yesterday. Since we are nomads, any new place gets to be scrutinized as a potential home and is compared to past homes. Since Nagiso was decidedly inaka, we naturally compared it to another inaka place near to our hearts. The island came out ahead, having the ideal combination of sea and mountain. Our rose-tinted rearview mirror is quite compelling.



I only have three more days of holiday after today. Usually at the end of a long holiday I get antsy and irritated but not this time. I only have two more months of work before my maternity leave starts. These next two months will be spent getting everything in order so that I can spend my year(!) off effectively. It is definitely going to be a change for us but I think it will be a good one.

Hello from the Osoji Trenches

Welcome to Day Three of Osoji.
Day One went like this: washed curtains, took the thousands of books (okay, maybe about a hundred or so) off the bookshelf, dusted bookshelves and moved them to mop under bookshelves. Rearranged bookshelves and replaced books in more orderly system. Beat living room rug, washed many loads of laundry and folded them, washed living room windows. Hand washed living room floor. Put everything Christmasy away. Cleaned sofa and depilled it with little depiller device. Ate some oden. Had a yuzu bath. Finished my first Christmas gift.
Day Two: Washed more curtains and laundry. Went to bank to withdraw fund before they close for New Year's (about four days). Went to Osu branch of bank. Ate mediocre Mexican food. Wandered through a flea market outside the temple. Bought ichigo daifuku mochi (my favorite). Returned home. Pulled all my fabric from the closet. Felt exhausted just looking at the pile of fabric. Finished my second Christmas gift.


Day Three (so far): Last gomi day before the holiday so I had to stuff the dead kiddie pools and the nasty rug into a trash bag along with some gross forgotten pizza boxes and long deceased ajisai and geraniums. All of these vile things had been put out of sight on the balcony for too long. Quickly cleaned out the fridge. Took everything downstairs before the gomishushusha rolled around the neighborhood at 8:30. Took a shower. Ate last omochi. Sat down with some tea to procrastinate by writing a blog post.


[Sigh] Okay, now my list:
-organize fabric
-finish cleaning out closet
-clean out desk drawers
-wash bedding
-beat and hang futons outside
-beat and hang bedroom rugs
-wash floors
-scrub bathroom
-clean toilet room
-scrub drains, especially washing machine drain
-use magic eraser to get all pencil and marker creations off the doors and walls and floors
-take a short break to buy supplies
-avoid looking at third Christmas gift