Mr. 1

And like that, the earth went around the sun in a flying flash and we have ourselves a giant one year-old Luca.



A sweetheart through and through, Luca was made to be the youngest of four. He is patient and curious and definitely big enough to hold his own. He beat every single milestone record of his siblings, kids who were no slouches themselves. Always busy and usually quiet, Luca fits right into our family.

He really lives up to his name: Luca- light, Haru- Spring. The kid just glows. Happy birthday, my baby boy.

Mr. Baby

This post is mainly just to show you how cute Luca is. Shameless bragging, I know.

Oh, and to show my mom that Luca fits into the 18 month old outfit she sent.

But mainly just to brag. Because just look how cute this guy is.

Three months in...

I think we'll keep him.

Oh, baby baby.

Little Luca is now in the process of becoming Little Luca the American. We are a little tardy on all of the official paperwork. Next week I have to go all the way to Immigration to apologize and tell them that I don't have a passport yet. In Japan, unless you are Japanese you are always a foreigner so Immigration demands that babies have a visa in their passport by 6 weeks old.
Mathematically, we were doomed. A week spent in the hospital after the birth, then Golden Week, then my injury, then chicken pox, and chicken pox, AND chicken pox... nope, it just didn't add up to equal bureaucratic success.
Hopefully the presence of this lovely boy will melt the hearts of the worn-out paper pushers. I don't want a repeat of last year's deportation scare.


Hope you are all well. Take care.
xoxo

Thoughts of Transition

Now, it is the pleasure of my everyday chores, the warm sunshine of Spring, the songbirds, the children laughing during their recess in the schoolyard next-door.
My heart is ripe with gratitude. How lucky I am to be here, right now.

I want to chronicle the stars and air and sounds for Luca, the setting of his first chapter. Most important, I want to remember this sweet period right before he joins us so that later (perhaps when he is sixteen and pimply, sneaking cigarettes and breaking curfew) I will have something luxurious and soft to pull from my battered mothering box, a cloak to wrap around my sweet boy and protect him from my easy judgments and exasperations.

Every mother has a pile of these memories, perched on the edge of our minds, at the ready.

These quiet, mundane weeks before Luca is born are now ready to be folded and put away. I can feel a shift occurring in my body and mind. Every minute lived is another minute closer to Luca. Soon I will have memories of woven with details that only a parent can savor, like those tiny, tiny fingernails and the way his eyelids will flutter while he is lost in newborn dreams.

The whole family seems to sense the transition. Every morning I wake up surrounded by my children, all of them quietly vying for my attention, even if it is just passive physical contact. They perhaps sense that my attention will stray for a little while, to be focused on a little one instead of homework assignments and skinned knees. The boys are more understanding but I wonder how Colette will respond to this coup. In these days before she loses the Baby crown, I am kissing those sweet cheeks just a little more often, giving her more time to gather her rocks and dig in the sand at the playground. I think she will like the Big Sister crown just as well, though it might fit a little awkwardly at first.

Two of a Kind(red)

These two middle children have become quite the pals. Of course, they each have a strong relationship with their Oniisan (big brother) but it is different from their playful connection. Nico knows better how to treat Colette since he is also a younger sibling; he also has the advantage of a smaller age gap (3 years versus 5.5 years).
Colette brings a whole barrel-full of silliness to the relationship which appeals to Nico's sense of humor (Sebastian also likes silliness but only if he is the producer).
Of course, I have to think that since they almost share a birthday they were bound to be more similar. Each of them have a sense of order and tidiness that skipped my eldest son. They are better at listening but also more willful than Sebastian ever has been. They are also more independent, a trait that comes with being younger siblings perhaps.

Right now it is dinner time and the two of them are trying to out-silly each other with their older brother both scolding and laughing at their antics. I try to imagine what mealtime will be like with four silly siblings sitting around the table without allowing such foresight to turn my hair white. As their mother, I try to find a balance of indulging in their right to enjoy each other's company and the necessity of having them get food into their stomachs. And with this pair, it really comes down to getting Tweedle Dee to focus on his dinner so that Tweedle Dum will, like with everything else, follow suit.

................

And just a pregnancy aside, no baby yet but as I am hoping that Luca will choose Saturday evening for his arrival (after Jason comes home from work, no less) then I am not impatient yet. I still have quite a bit of housework (aka nesting) to do before then, progress of which is hindered by the erratic back-to-school schedule which is peppered with lots of half-days (including the unexpected ones like today when I had to haul my big ol' belly up to the kindergarten after Nico's sensei gave me a nice phone call letting me know that my blondie was waiting patiently in the office for me). In the end, I know it won't matter to Luca if the kids' closet is put to rights before he comes home but I also know that once he gets here, all productivity will be suspended for a bit. I am in a funny limbo state right now that involves chores, naps, walking, more walking, and reading Elizabeth Gaskell novels.  I can't really explain the last one but there are a lot of inexplicable elements involved with the end of pregnancy so 18th century stories about the conflicts between the working class and their 'masters' appeals to me right now. Perhaps it is related to the amount of housework I have suffered endured accomplished in the last few weeks.

Me, Myself, and I

I had my weekly doctor's visit today and it was predicted by his swift judgment that I still have another week to go. I am actually hoping Luca will want to be born on the 21st since it will make my kids a complete cusp set (Sebastian-20th, Nico-22nd, Colette-23rd).

I always feel a little fatigued after seeing the regular doctor and always have to transform into self-doula mode to raise my spirits. It isn't easy giving birth in a place where we are essentially on our own. After two years in Nagoya, we do have quite a few friends, yet it is not normal in Japan to rely on such relationships during times like this. Typically pregnant women return to their parents' house the month before the birth and remain there until the one month baby check-up following the birth. It is a nice tradition for those who can take advantage of it but for a mama like myself, it means that I am more isolated than most.

Of course, I went through this before with Colette and lived on a tiny island for that one so I am experienced. It does increase my sense of self-sufficiency but I can't help but envy those women who do have parents in the country to help them during such a vulnerable time. My own parents have helped me tremendously in their own way but I wish they had decided to retire in Okinawa instead of St. Augustine, Florida. Similar climates and much easier for us to travel to.

Yet there is no sense in feeling sorry for myself. I just must remember that this is the one disadvantage that balances all those advantages we have living in Japan. And also I must recall that amazing sense of victory I felt at the end of Colette's active but gentle birth. It made me feel akin to women who go off by themselves to give birth in the bush. Such a peaceful and natural event, so unlike the experience promoted by those who wish to profit from childbirth.

At the end, I feel all I can say is ganbatte to myself and just try and stay sunny. A pursuit made easier by the return of actual sunshine pouring through my window.

Due Date

Well, here we are on my estimated due date, and a Friday the 13th no less. This is the day when the patience from most of those around me dwindles.  They (and by they, it is possible that I am including you in the equation) suddenly realize how long a full-term pregnancy actually is (basically 10 months) and the fact that I stubbornly continue to remain in this encumbered state is simply unacceptable.
Luckily for them (and perhaps you as well) I am patient enough for everyone. In two weeks, if Luca hasn't made his entrance into this world, then perhaps my tune will change.
For now though, I am okay. Luca is okay. Between now and two weeks, he will decide on a birthday and manage to escape his warm womb to be embraced by a family that is somewhat ready to meet him. Since this is my fourth child (for those of you who lost count) I know that a due date is not an expiration date. I also know that when he does decide to come, he will come. I even look forward to the occasion (as nuts as that might sound).

Until Luca's birthday, I will waddle through my days, filling out school forms in crummy Japanese, blowing bubbles at the park, and eating way too much ice. My hospital bags are packed, the pantry is stocked with cornflakes, ramen noodles, and rice and there is nothing left to do but enjoy these last moments before the Luca revolution begins. Based on my previous experience, I know that the change will be so radical it will soon be hard to remember a time when he wasn't in our lives. Until that occurs, I plan to savor all the moments I can with his fellow revolutionaries, those loving siblings who have so successfully scrambled my memory that I am rather sure they were with me during my youth, blowing out the candles on my own birthday cakes.





Also, a big shout-out to my mother-in-law who celebrates another year survived on this blue and green ball today. I know she is hopeful that Luca will be the most considerate of her grandkids and decide he wants to share her birthday. All I can say is that the day is young and though there is no indication he might want to be one of the rare ones who are born on their due dates, there are plenty of hours left for him to change his mind.
(And, just so grandma knows, we signed her birthday cards last week but made the mistake of trusting them in the care of her eldest son. So please look for your birthday cards a few days late but know that we  didn't forget your birthday...)
Omedetou gozaimasu! Happy Birthday!

Hanami: 花見: Blossom Viewing

Today Jason came home early from doing errands with the decision that we just had to go do some hanami this afternoon. The reality of my bulging belly and tomorrow's impending rain made him think that today might be our last chance to see the cherry blossoms at their peak. The boys opted to stay home so with just Colette for company, we headed to Nagoya Castle, one of the prime hanami spots in Nagoya. We didn't actually go in (and should I admit we actually have never entered the castle proper?) but there were plenty of cherry trees around the perimeter to captivate even the hungriest of eyes.

(You can see most of the 200 photos over on the flickr page.)

I actually fell in love with Japan during my first hanami (and I know that every year I tell you the same story but every year I do come back to this moment, so please bear with me). I had just suffered through my first true winter and was feeling out of sorts with the place for being so damn cold and brown all the time. Then suddenly Spring waltzed into my life and made me understand the delicate balance of nature. It also made me appreciate Japanese society and the determination to take time out of their busy lives to spread out blue tarps and bask in the fleeting glory of a tree.


And my annual post on hanami just wouldn't be the same without some lines from Issa:

さすが花ちるにみれんはなかりけり
sasuga hana chiru ni miren wa nakari keri

when cherry blossoms
scatter...
no regrets

寝ころぶや御本丸御用の花の陰
ne-korobu ya o-honmaru go-yô no hana no kage

curled to sleep--
the important official
in cherry blossom shade

鳥と共に人間くぐる桜哉
tori to tomo ni ningen kuguru sakura kana

birds and people
creeping through...
cherry blossoms

咲くからに雨に逢けり花の山
saku kara ni ame ni ai keri hana no yama

soon after blooming
pelted by rain...
mountain cherry trees

(for more haiku by Issa, please visit the haiku guy.)

Today's hanami made me decide on Luca's middle name. We have been leaning towards Haru (春ーSpring) for a while but I was hesitant about how it would sound with the two names together in Japanese (Ruka Haru- ルカはるーa double 'ru'). Yet the season means so much to us and our love for this place that Luca has decided to be born in that it is the only name I can really think of. It really is a glorious time of year. 

Mr. Luca and Mr. Nico/ルカくんとニコライくん

Since the arrival of Spring, we are rarely indoors enough to drop in here. Yet I know that when a pregnant lady nears the finish line, people get more curious about how the race is going. To reassure you, I just thought I would pop in here to say: all is well. After all, look at that face. How could we not be well with such a plump little one on the way? He is already measuring about 7.5 pounds. And I still have a few weeks to tilt the scales a little more.

Just from the cheeks and lips alone you can tell that little Luca is one of my kids.

And his massive forehead makes me think that he'll favor Nico, which is appropriate since Nico was the one who made me think I was pregnant in the first place. I was probably only one or two weeks along when Nico started a strange habit of sneaking into my bed in the morning and placing his hands on my belly. I'd ask him what he was doing and he would say he was feeling the baby. This habit carried on for so long that I decided to take a home test, you know, just to check. Imagine my surprise... Instances like that really make you wonder how much control you have over your destiny and how much better children understand the workings of the universe than adults.

One thing I do know is that I am happy that soon these brothers will unite. Nico has been waiting for Luca for a long time (and has now adopted the borderline annoying habit of continuously asking when Luca will arrive...). And looking at my big guy Nico makes me extremely patient in these final weeks because I know it will be just a matter of seconds before Luca is not only in my arms but running around with the rest of the gang.



It really does go too fast, doesn't it?

xoxo