Mistakes are really discoveries

Nico's really into making things with paper. Origami, paper cuts, boxes, birds, you name it and it will be in paper form in a matter of minutes. (As I type this Jason is trying to convince Nico to delay the tape-box he's making for me until after dinner. It's like water off a stone with our determined boy.)

A few weeks ago, I taught Nico how to make snowflakes. A thousand snowflakes later and I am prepared to declare him an addict. Now and then though, he makes a mistake. I say mistake only because that is how he perceives them. I am not sure if his idea of perfection is rooted in nature or nurture but I do know that I want him to relinquish the negativity he associates with mistakes and see them for what they really are: learning opportunities. Thomas Edison said regarding his failed lightbulbs "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work".

Mistakes can also be a source of discovery, as Nico found out today. 

A broken snowflake is really just a pair of wings.


And once one person has a pair of wings...



Colette was happy to be a choucho (butterfly) and immediately jumped off the couch with great hopes. Landing with a thud, she said あれ (Japanese for 'huh?'). I love that she believed she could fly.


I also love that when Sebastian return from playing with friends, Nico asked him if he wanted a pair of wings too. 

 I love that Sebastian said of course.

Home Study Days

One of the challenges of raising bilingual kids is helping them to learn in both languages. For the most part we are more concerned with their childhood experience, encouraging exploration and acts of empathy/sympathy. We try to let them have as much free time as possible in the afternoons so they can play with friends or each other. For the most part, they determine how their time is spent, an element that is crucial as they step closer day by day toward adulthood.



I do want them to be scholastically well-equipped to support their journey through this world. So this year while I have been on maternity leave, we have started doing home study days. We sit down twice a week and do some formalized lessons, either with paper worksheets or more tactile materials. As you may remember, I try to incorporate Montessori methods in our home whenever possible. Colette is using the sandpaper letters and metal insets in preparation for writing. She is super alert to finding her "w's" as she refers to the alphabet whenever we are out and about. During the day I do more practical Montessori activities with her like pouring rice and dressing frames to learn how to use buttons and laces.



Nicolai is into Bob books, the movable alphabet, and math. Yep, math. He walks around counting by threes and fours and loves the hundreds board app on the iPad. The boy sits down and writes out addition problems, filling out the entire page with sums.

For Sebastian, I just try to supplement his school work to help him in what his teacher considers to be his weaker areas. I personally abide by the theories of multiple intelligences and various learning styles. I do not think Sebastian's weaker areas are truly weak but since the school wants well-rounded students, I try to help him to feel more confident in areas that he is not so interested in. I also work with him on his English reading which was really slow going until recently when we switched from phonics to sight words. And he is such a rabid reader in Japanese that I do not worry about his abilities.

We are still smoothing out some of the kinks of home study time (and by kinks I mean resolving disputes sparked by having three very determined and different learners at one table) but that is all part of the journey.

Thoughts of Transition

Now, it is the pleasure of my everyday chores, the warm sunshine of Spring, the songbirds, the children laughing during their recess in the schoolyard next-door.
My heart is ripe with gratitude. How lucky I am to be here, right now.

I want to chronicle the stars and air and sounds for Luca, the setting of his first chapter. Most important, I want to remember this sweet period right before he joins us so that later (perhaps when he is sixteen and pimply, sneaking cigarettes and breaking curfew) I will have something luxurious and soft to pull from my battered mothering box, a cloak to wrap around my sweet boy and protect him from my easy judgments and exasperations.

Every mother has a pile of these memories, perched on the edge of our minds, at the ready.

These quiet, mundane weeks before Luca is born are now ready to be folded and put away. I can feel a shift occurring in my body and mind. Every minute lived is another minute closer to Luca. Soon I will have memories of woven with details that only a parent can savor, like those tiny, tiny fingernails and the way his eyelids will flutter while he is lost in newborn dreams.

The whole family seems to sense the transition. Every morning I wake up surrounded by my children, all of them quietly vying for my attention, even if it is just passive physical contact. They perhaps sense that my attention will stray for a little while, to be focused on a little one instead of homework assignments and skinned knees. The boys are more understanding but I wonder how Colette will respond to this coup. In these days before she loses the Baby crown, I am kissing those sweet cheeks just a little more often, giving her more time to gather her rocks and dig in the sand at the playground. I think she will like the Big Sister crown just as well, though it might fit a little awkwardly at first.

Two of a Kind(red)

These two middle children have become quite the pals. Of course, they each have a strong relationship with their Oniisan (big brother) but it is different from their playful connection. Nico knows better how to treat Colette since he is also a younger sibling; he also has the advantage of a smaller age gap (3 years versus 5.5 years).
Colette brings a whole barrel-full of silliness to the relationship which appeals to Nico's sense of humor (Sebastian also likes silliness but only if he is the producer).
Of course, I have to think that since they almost share a birthday they were bound to be more similar. Each of them have a sense of order and tidiness that skipped my eldest son. They are better at listening but also more willful than Sebastian ever has been. They are also more independent, a trait that comes with being younger siblings perhaps.

Right now it is dinner time and the two of them are trying to out-silly each other with their older brother both scolding and laughing at their antics. I try to imagine what mealtime will be like with four silly siblings sitting around the table without allowing such foresight to turn my hair white. As their mother, I try to find a balance of indulging in their right to enjoy each other's company and the necessity of having them get food into their stomachs. And with this pair, it really comes down to getting Tweedle Dee to focus on his dinner so that Tweedle Dum will, like with everything else, follow suit.

................

And just a pregnancy aside, no baby yet but as I am hoping that Luca will choose Saturday evening for his arrival (after Jason comes home from work, no less) then I am not impatient yet. I still have quite a bit of housework (aka nesting) to do before then, progress of which is hindered by the erratic back-to-school schedule which is peppered with lots of half-days (including the unexpected ones like today when I had to haul my big ol' belly up to the kindergarten after Nico's sensei gave me a nice phone call letting me know that my blondie was waiting patiently in the office for me). In the end, I know it won't matter to Luca if the kids' closet is put to rights before he comes home but I also know that once he gets here, all productivity will be suspended for a bit. I am in a funny limbo state right now that involves chores, naps, walking, more walking, and reading Elizabeth Gaskell novels.  I can't really explain the last one but there are a lot of inexplicable elements involved with the end of pregnancy so 18th century stories about the conflicts between the working class and their 'masters' appeals to me right now. Perhaps it is related to the amount of housework I have suffered endured accomplished in the last few weeks.

Nature Girl

There goes the little nature obsessed Colette, stick in one hand, pebbles in the other. Our speed as pedestrians is hampered by her desire to stuff her pockets full of rocks found on the side of the street. Every evening, I empty her pockets of the day's treasures, knowing I will have to repeat the procedure again on the morrow.

Before when she was restricted to the stroller (for convenience's sake) she would pluck every leaf or flower that came within her reach. Like a true naturalist, she would then dissect (read: shred) the procured specimen and examine it with all of her senses. Now that we have released her from the bonds of the stroller (to prepare her for walking slowly at my side when Luca is strapped to me) she is free to collect as many samples as she could ever want. It is amazing how even in this concrete-coated landscape, she manages to find such a wealth of blossoms, stones, and insects.

As the temperature continues to rise, I can begin to imagine our summers with three budding naturalists eager every morning to get outside into the lush, buzzing day to hunt for beetles and preying mantises, cicadas and geckos, and perhaps just a few more rocks to add to an already abundant collection.

(13)

You might have noticed that Colette appears here more than her elders. That has to do with the fact that Colette is the only weekday child for the time being. Most of our time outside the house with Colette is spent encouraging her to move faster or trying to keep up with her. Ever since I realized there would be a new occupant in the backpack/stroller, I knew it was necessary to wean her from such modes of transport. It is not a convenient option for us sometimes but she has taught us to slow (or quicken) our pace, making us more aware of the wonders to be found in a simple walk around the block. And at the same time she has reformed her own pace to keep mostly in stride with us and no longer jumps around in front of oncoming traffic. (Before you have a heart attack, let me clarify that when I say oncoming, it really means blocks away.) Now instead of feeling like a shepherdess when we go outside, I can enjoy the insights of our little pedestrians better.

(12)

This is what happens to me too when I have to take the train to work. Except I am not as cute.

A+B=7

I am still recovering from the flu so the week known as Thanksgiving Week for you American readers and known as Birthday Week to those living in this small apartment went by without much pomp and circumstance. We did celebrate, in a modest way. There were presents, though since the photographer was sleeping when they were opened, there is no paper ripping photos to share. You'll have to wait until Christmas. Nico's school had a bazar and that was a lot of fun, evidence of which you can see on Flickr. And Jason took the boys to the city zoo today (again, Flickr). So it wasn't a complete loss. And regardless of my position or consciousness, Nico is now FIVE...


And this girl is now TWO.


How they got themselves into this state is beyond me but they seem happy to keep doing it. And because both of them are so headstrong, I don't think even if I protested their rapid progress that they would heed my words. They'd be nice about it but once they become determined to do something, they care for nothing else.

Happy Birthday, my sweet Sagittarius babes.