Friday, January 28
So, to explain what has been happening: I was vying for a very nice job at a preschool in Shizuoka for the past month and a half. I was short-listed then it came down to me and another candidate. I went there for an interview, saw Mount Fuji, saw what a partial immersion school looked like, then came home with the sense that it wasn't going to happen.
I am disappointed, I will admit it. It would have been great for the kids (they waive the tuition for their teachers' children, and it's an IB school that goes from preschool to senior high school) and I thought it would have been ideal on many other levels.
Yet, I must accept it, and not as a failure. I am sure the other teacher was more qualified than me and so I wish her and the school all the best.
And as for me, I have a full life here right now. And frankly, it's such a relief to be released from the stress of limbo that I don't feel as disappointed as I had anticipated. There is a new found freedom in our stability that I intend to embrace and explore. After I received my rejection, I questioned the reason for all of my anxiety and concentrated focus on this possibility. I don't quite have the answer except that it has made me look at my life as it is with fresh eyes. If I can use this renewed perspective to move forward in the direction we really want, then the brief heartbreak I had from not getting the job will be worth it. It is my resolution to use this as a step, not a fall.